Curb My Enthusiasm

Throughout history there has been a philosophical battle regarding Mankind’s inherent nature. Is it generally righteous with the occasional immoral urge or mostly evil with traces of benevolence mixed in? While most would band together and say it is good, the recent downturn in the economy and the war of words and accusations that has ensued, suggests it may be intrinsically breaking bad.

Not long ago, most everyone was extremely happy with their local, regional, and national elected officials. While there has always been a few corrupt individuals, politicians were generally viewed as hard-working representatives of their constituency.

What a difference a few years make – and few less dollars in people’s wallets.

Today, just about everybody in office is considered greedy, inept, untrustworthy and downright nefarious.

“I can’t believe these people,” someone shouted at her husband the other day while standing in line at a local supermarket. “It’s unbelievable what they get away with! Our government is so corrupt, I hope they all get their walking papers.”

“Politicians are all crooks! They should all be put in jail,” another lady emotionally told a reporter on television last week when asked what she thought about the current American economy.

Again, what a difference a few years make.

In the roaring ’90s when the economy was humming along, new start-ups were becoming IPOs on a daily basis, and portfolios were growing robustly each week, apparently the government could do no wrong. Now, as they all work hard to turn around the worst economy since the Great Depression – they are all not just disliked, but flat out hated.

Why? Because they make pretty good salaries and the economy hasn’t turned around overnight?

It’s true, times are extremely tough for a lot of people – especially those who have lost their jobs and are desperately searching for a stable income generator. But, to hear such acrimony and venom spew from certain people’s mouths is downright perplexing.

Sure there are some that most likely do abuse their power, but to call all politicians criminals is not only ignorant, it’s wrong. At the end of the day, its OK to take umbrage with certain policies that certain branches and levels of government pass and support, but to universally attack all of them – or just the ones that don’t belong to a specific party affiliate – is a very unflattering human characteristic.

Yet, it’s one that many seem to be gravitating toward more and more of late. Which, in the end makes one think that maybe it’s not “all politicians” that are immoral, but maybe all of humanity.

The urge to spew such repulsive malevolence so freely and quickly, certainly makes one think that the philosophical battle of Mankind’s inherent nature is not going so “good.”

On every walk or jog through the neighborhood, it is hard not to notice the beautiful trees, rolling green hills, and majestic mountains towering upward on the western horizon. While definitely an extremely nice area to live in, for some reason on the casual, weekly strolls, the attitude of most people encountered is anything but.

Perhaps all the negative news and intense, polarized political rhetoric in the media have created a cautious, apprehensive divide between strangers. Maybe it’s the fact that most communication – especially in this technology-driven valley – is now done digitally, which means some have a hard time dealing with direct human interaction. Instant messenger, email, social media, text messages have become such a normal, daily occurrence a few of these fellow walkers and joggers may not know how to respond to a cordial greeting without a computer or cell phone intervening.

Whatever it is, the lack of smiles and return acknowledgments by neighbors is quite perplexing. It’s almost as if the community needs to recruit Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island to come stand on a street corner and shout out his well-known catchphrase to all passersby.

There is a slight element of reprieve. A majority of homeowners in these suburbs are first-time immigrants that speak little English. For whatever reason, despite having world-renown engineering and technology universities here in America, companies recruit software and hardware engineers from India, China, Sweden, Russia, and other parts of the world to come work here full-time.

With just about every Fortune 500 company in the world having a least some sort of presence here, that has led to quite a few foreigners needing a place to live in the community. This has many advantages and is phenomenal to see on many levels since this country was founded on bringing people of all different worldly cultures and creeds together to form one powerful, symbiotic, benevolent, “melting pot,” American society.

Yet, letting someone off the hook for constantly not returning a smile, a wave, or responding to a pleasant “good morning,” simply because they are foreign is nonsensical. After all, it doesn’t matter if one speaks Korean, Mandarin, or Swedish, the smile and hand wave transcend all language and cultural barriers.

It’s understandable that some may be having a bad day or don’t feel obligated to outwardly show pleasantries while going for a jaunt through the neighborhood – especially in the morning since some still may be waking up and craving that first cup of coffee. The high percentages, however, that flat out don’t respond or stare at you as if you’ve insulted them after a genuine salutation – is baffling.

The heterogenous society – at least in this area – has a long way to go before it starts “melting together” into the homogeneous one we all desire. Perhaps the first big step toward that goal begins with a simple, friendly grin to a stranger on the street. Or, as one distinguished older gentleman would put it: “Smiles everyone! Smiles!”

BizarroGuy

Not long ago, Michael Vick was behind bars serving time for his role in an interstate dog-fighting ring. Today, he is enjoying one of the best seasons of his National Football League career as quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles. While the media and fans alike continue to sing his praises, Vick’s newfound success is hardly a redemption song.

Whether someone is successful at his or her job has no redeeming relevance to the positive or negative actions and decisions they make away from the office. In Vick’s case, playing extremely well in football does not vindicate him from the fact that he directly and indirectly took the lives of hundreds of dogs. Yet, for some reason, sports pundits seem to think otherwise.

“This is the ultimate redemption story,” stated Tom Jackson loudly on ESPN referring to Vick after he and the Eagles came back from a 21-point deficit to beat the New York Giants on Sunday. The rest of the sports analysts on the show shook their heads firmly to show their agreement.

We listen to sports broadcasters and former players because they provide insight into games most of us have never played before – especially not at a collegiate or professional level. Their coaching and game knowledge help us better understand the schematics and potential outcomes of each matchup.

To apply an on-field performance to off-field morality, however, is irrelevant and ludicrous. It is a prime example that perhaps these so-called experts should simply stick to what they know – sports.

In the end, maybe there is nothing Vick can do that will ultimately make amends for his canine atrocities. He sounds repentant and seems to be on the path to restitution, but only he will ever truly know. As fans, we only see the public side of the person, which is usually just his play as quarterback of the Eagles and a few sound bites before and after each game and practice. It’s in the private setting that Vick will ultimately have to salvage his life and take the needed steps to redeem himself for past actions.

It’s certainly not going to be achieved by zig-zagging through the defense for a first down or throwing a tight spiral for a 50-yard touchdown. While he is extremely fun to watch and having an MVP year, our praises can only be sung to his ability as a football player.

Thus, for a redemption song – at least for now – we’ll leave that to others, like Bob Marley.

Former Republican Vice President candidate Sarah Palin announced the other day that if she were to run against President Barack Obama in the next election, she’d win easily. Considering she left political office before her term was up to make more money, it’s about time Americans told her to “Please refudiate.” Er, please repudiate.

Perhaps it was a creative, back-hand metaphor in an attempt to state that a tree stump could win against Obama since his approval ratings are so low. If she seriously, however, thinks that after her track record she can be elected commander in chief, then she’s more full of herself than anyone imagined.

The reason she is not fit for the highest office of this great country has nothing to do with the fact that she can see Russia out of her Alaskan bedroom window. And it’s not because she thinks evolution is a fairy tale. It’s also not because she doesn’t read newspapers or believes the Vice President runs the Senate. The fact that her made-up words and misstatements make George W. Bush sound like a literary Rhodes Scholar is not it either.

The bottom line is Palin, in the midst of all her newfound glory and fame, turned her back on the residents of the 49th state. And in doing so, she turned her back on this country, which is unforgivable.

Obtaining ultimate financial success is the goal of our free capitalist society, so Americans can’t really fault her for deciding to drop all her political responsibilities to write a novel and hit the road on what seems to be the never-ending book tour. But in doing so, she has lost all credibility and trust when it comes to ever being a political leader again.

Sure we can listen to her advice and opinions on certain issues and events, after all, that is exactly why she wrote the best-seller and continues to market herself from coast-to-coast. But her national politcal aspirations have plunged into a “death panel” all its own.

When fellow countrymen in Alaska needed her guidance and help to find work and a better life after the 2008 election, where did she go? She went running to her own personal publishing cash machine. And to keep that ATM of her’s stock piled, she kept right on running – to Fox News and anyone else who will put a microphone in her face – to plug her conservative ideology.

There is no way the citizens of the United States can afford someone with this type of intrinsic avaricious mentality to ever sit behind the desk in the Oval Office. It’s obvious why Palin supports the Tea Party and limited federal government spending – she’s been chasing and hoarding money ever since she walked onto the national stage. The last thing she wants is anybody taking even a dime away from her cache. When the tax man cometh, she most likely screams, in her best Charlton Heston voice, “I’ll give you my money when you take it from my cold, dead hands.”

Palin never finished her term as Alaska Governor. She left office to pursue a career elsewhere – a much more lucrative career. Like a student athlete leaving college early because he or she knows they will go high in the draft and sign a lucrative professional contract, so, too, did Palin prematurely depart. In this case, though, she didn’t leave early to go to a higher political level, she left the industry altogether. In doing so, she abandoned the populace that desperately needed support. An act of pure selfishness.

There is no question that when it comes to the spotlight, Sarah Palin shines. When it comes to the presidency, however, it’s time she learned she’ll never be the North Star she claims to be. The political pilot light for the self-proclaimed Maverick, even if she were up against a tree stump, has burned out.

Palin has every right to tour the nation like a cross-country big rigger in an effort to fill her personal coffers. As for the next Republican presidential election process, though, it’s about time Americans told her to buck up and stay in the truck.

BizarroGuy

Throughout history, great men and women have risen up to help lead America out of tough economic times. As the country, and the world, struggle financially, we again turn to our elected representatives to guide us to better fiscal days.

As the focus remains on the power struggle between Democrats and Republicans on Capitol Hill, the American people are, unfortunately, forced to watch powerlessly as our lawmakers act more like impudent children rather than prudent statesmen.

“Nearly every day that the Senate’s been in session for the past two years, I have come down to this spot and said that Democrats are ignoring the wishes of the American people,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). “When it comes to earmarks, I won’t be guilty of the same thing.”

McConnell, who supported earmarks in the past, supposedly changed his mind because of political pressure within his own party. Yet, instead of simply admitting this, he opted to use his time on the Senate floor to try and defuse any negative frenzy that might arise in regard to his policy change by denouncing Democrats.

Is there so much ill will in Congress that lawmakers have to use every public moment to put down one another? Is it because they are so financially backed by their party they feel obligated to attack the other side every time a microphone is placed in front of them? Or is it simply, they lack the courage and backbone to stand up and say, “Hey. I changed my mind.”

As the saying goes, it takes a big man to admit he’s wrong. Or to admit a mistake. In this case it’s neither. Earmarks are not necessarily a bad thing and there are countless additions and riders on bills that turned into much-needed state projects and services. After all, they are allocations usually pushed at the request of the constituency anyway – the same folks that put the delegate in power.

Yet, with the federal deficit soaring and furor over governmental spending mounting, lawmakers have decided this is a good way to reign some of that in. Thus, to switch positions on earmarks is understandable. Despite this, however, McConnell has concluded that changing his vote will make him look like a “flip-flopper” and has taken the cowardly route of attacking liberals to try and dilute any negative backlash that may befall him.

To randomly put down other people, especially when it has nothing to do with what is being discussed, is not only nonsensical, but also extremely immature. Despite his tall frame, this action makes McConnell a small man. And, lamentably, there are too many small men and women on Capitol Hill.

America can’t afford immature whining, finger-pointing, and the overall stubborn refusal to work together to get things done. Congress should be a chamber of leaders, not a chamber of fools. It’s the ultimate union statehouse, not a state-run schoolhouse.

It’s time our elected officials stood for something other than party-affiliation. It’s time for them to rise up and stand on their own two feet. Only then will they – and this country – return to greatness.

BizarroGuy

Maybe it’s the medicinal marijuana fumes wafting through the air or maybe there’s some unknown salty calming agent in the offshore California sea breeze. Whatever it is, it’s refreshing to know that voters from the Golden State did not panic when it came to the recent election.

As the rest of the country went stampeding to the polls frantically looking for change by voting all people Republican, most on the West Coast were far more relaxed. And quietly more optimistic and realistic.

Any political expert will tell you, it usually takes a few years before a new administration’s strategies take effect. In fact, quite often it’s not until after a president leaves office that the country actually sees overt signs – be they negative or positive – trickle down to our everyday lives.

So, to vilify the president and Congress after only two years in office and demand a reverse of course is not only a spastic, knee-jerk reaction, but an erroneous one. Evidence of the new approach is just now starting to emerge and guess what? Things are actually starting to look good.

The stock market is up nearly 40% since President Barack Obama took office and both private and public companies across America are announcing their best profits in years.

Yet, because of unsubstantiated anxiety, most of the country demanded an immediate about-face on election day.

With recent gains in the Senate and a majority control in the House of Representatives, members of the Grand Old Party are hitting the airwaves proudly declaring victory. They are claiming the outcome is a referendum on the Obama-Nancy Pelosi agenda and the American people have turned to Republicans to help save the country.

Despite the economy being the number one concern, these conservative “saviors” have already stated one of their first course of actions will be to repeal “ObamaCare” – a health plan that most actually like. People with pre-existing conditions will also finally garner medical coverage (personally free and clear of cancer for 18 years, but can’t find coverage). This GOP focus will not just be disliked by the majority, but will be a huge waste of time and money. Which, ironically, is the same sort of squandering many cite as their main displeasure with Democrats.

Bottom line, the country doesn’t need saving. The unemployment rate hovers around 10% and the housing market is still sluggish, but the economy is alive and well. While still on the mend, it is well out of the intensive care unit and there was no need for Americans to panic on election day.

But, that is just what they did. Thankfully, while this tumultuous political storm fumed its way through the rest of the country, all was calm in sunny California.

If a recent AP-GfK poll is accurate, Democrats might want to prepare themselves for a big Congressional shift in power. There are many reasons cited for the push toward Grand Old Party candidates, however, the bottom line is humans are simply quick to push the panic button.

For whatever reason, if things aren’t going the way we want them to, we tend to get anxious. And fast.

If stuck in traffic, we quickly look to change lanes. If there is a line at the local coffee shop, we complain. If a commercial comes on our favorite television show, we turn the channel. If the economy is less-than robust, we want new leadership.

While many were not happy with the two wars, the poor environmental record, and general nepotism that occurred with the George W. Bush administration, the main reason the Democrats won the White House was the American people wanted a fast turn-around to the ailing economy. Which, because of our intrinsic nature to overreact, meant choosing a Commander in Chief with a completely different approach to the current one that seemingly wasn’t working.

In sports, when a team has a losing record for just one or two years, fans demand a new coaching staff. It doesn’t matter that new philosophies and styles may take time for everyone to learn and execute. Nor does it occur to followers that while the record is a losing one, the team actually may be playing better and on the slow rise to success.

In this day and age, we want instant gratification.

The same is true in politics today. Despite the economy being in a steep decline during the previous administration, the fact that it is still stagnant on some levels after only two years has many voters requesting – yet again – a change. Not just a simple change in management, but one that will focus on new methodology. Even though most experts state the economy is in a strong rebound, some still desperately seek a different course.

“If we get some new blood in there who will do what the people want, maybe this can get turned around,” said Sharon Klawender, 70, a Michigan resident who was interviewed by the AP in its recent poll.

Everyone, be they conservative or liberal, knows what the people want. Everyone, Democrat and Republican, wants a thriving economy. With the stock market up roughly 30% since President Barack Obama took over, banks once again thriving, and both private and public companies reporting their highest profits in years, what people may not understand is “this,” as one GOP-leaning voter put it, is already being turned around.

The unemployment rate and housing market still weigh on the overall economy, but blaming liberal incumbents only for this, simply because a democrat is sitting in the Oval Office, is more a knee-jerk, nervous reaction than a common sense one.

“We went on a spending spree that took the debt of this country to levels that are just mind-boggling. All they’ve done is spend, spend, spend,” said another in the AP study.

By “they” the gentleman most likely meant Republicans and Democrats since the open check book policy started with Bush well before Obama took office. While government spending is a necessity unless we want massive infrastructure crumbling, failing schools, lack of social services, and deteriorating parks and open spaces, it appears those against this approach to solving the unemployment issue want to hold only liberals accountable.

The bottom line is come election day, voters need to realize that change does not happen overnight. Turning around an economy that basically went from unseen highs to lows not witnessed since the Great Depression – will take time. Both Bush and Obama took steps to try and expedite the process. While some programs and spending may not go over well with factions of the citizenry, there is no doubt the economy has a pretty strong pulse once again.

Candidates need to be supported based on the issues we hold most dear to us. Voters should not back a candidate solely because they think a change in party affiliation in and of itself will turn things around. Any economist will tell you it usually takes a few years for a new administration’s policies to take effect anyway. Also, whether you want to chalk it up to Bush, Obama, or just time and newfound confidence, it does appear the economy is turning for the better.

Thus, come the first Tuesday in November, if you push the button for the Democrat candidate, so be it. If you push the button for the Republican, so be it. Just think it all over and don’t let the so-called negative hysteria make you push the panic button.

BizarroGuy

As another big election day approaches, most candidates across the country seem to be focusing on the high unemployment rate as the one key issue to address. While amusing to watch and listen to as they try to prove they are the best person for the job – and for creating jobs for the rest of us – the extreme level some go to is no laughing matter.

Skewed, biased, melodramatic, and down right mean-spirited advertisements about the plight of this country – namely the high unemployment rate and who is responsible – continue to clog the airwaves as candidates who seek to topple incumbents use this lagging economic indicator to their advantage.

Here in the California, it’s no different.

In a close battle for an open US Senate seat, Barbara Boxer (D) and Carly Fiorina (R) continue to criticize one another on television and the radio. In the fierce, often bitter exchange, one particular television advertisement stands out. It opens with two concerned farmers staring at the camera as a huge, barren farmland stretches into the distance behind them. The words on the screen state: “Barbara Boxer’s California.” The announcer firmly states “This is Barbara Boxer’s California” as an image of a Sacramento homeless camp emerges next.

Sure times are tough for many Americans, but to depict California as nothing but a Dust Bowl shanty town – and blame it on one woman – is not only an outrageous exaggeration, but gives way too much power to one individual. It’s as if Boxer was not only responsible for losing countless jobs simply for being in office, but it got so bad she some how managed to change the weather in the process.

The commercial is so exaggerated, it’s a surprise the Joads didn’t make a cameo.

On Sunday, in the local paper (the San Jose Mercury News), there was an article written by a former semiconductor industry executive and current venture capitalist who stated why Fiorina and California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman (R) should be elected.

The reason was simple: they know how to create jobs unlike their opponents. The author’s first point to back up the thesis was an anecdotal account of how several paramount semiconductor companies decided to open up plants in other states solely because their energy bills would be lower. Jerry Brown (D), the governor at the time and the one running against Whitman this time around, did nothing to try and keep these satellite offices in-state.

Another main example was simply the fact that Fiornia and Whitman both worked for top technology companies (eBay and Hewlett Packard) and thus know how to expand and thrive in any economy. The mere fact that they led well-known Silicon Valley companies at one time in and of itself was reason enough to support them over any – gulp – career politician.

That was it. No mention of either’s record at these companies or even a hint of any kind of job plan going forward.

The bottom line is nobody seems to have one – be they a candidate from the Republican or Democratic party. Which is understandable, as it’s an extremely complicated issue with no quick fix. Even the leading economic gurus and advisors clash over the best ways to add more human resources to the private and public sector.

Of course, candidates can claim they might lower taxes for businesses or cut spending on certain government programs (which will help the deficit but lead to more unemployment), but these are incentives – not plans. And so far this is all we hear from anybody, left or right of the independent center.

Thus, when it comes to the one key issue that most want to focus on, which is lowering the dreaded unemployment rate, nobody – not the candidates nor their paid pundits – can tell the citizenry who is the best person for the job. The good news is the majority of companies are once again turning a profit, the stock market is up nearly 30% in the past two years, and retail stores are seeing vast improvements in consumer spending.

Perhaps these factors alone and the knowledge that over time we’ll get the confidence we need to get more Americans back to work will get us all smiling again. Then maybe we can look back at all these absurd advertisements regarding unemployment and have a good laugh.

BizarroGuy

When it comes to the best movies ever made, Steven Spielberg’s film about the cute, little alien that gets stranded on earth has to top most lists. Not only was it a fantastic story with phenomenal visual effects (for its time), but it was the launching pad for Reeses Pieces candy, Drew Barrymore’s career, and the ever-popular phrase “E.T. phone home.”

While that line is known to just about everyone over the age of 30, the way we use cell phones these days, if they ever do a remake of that classic, the writers best change it to “E.T. text home!”

Despite being called cell phones, it seems most people are texting rather than actually making a call.

Just the other day, there was a get-together at a sports bar to watch a San Francisco Giants playoff baseball game. Upon arriving at the table, not one friend looked up. All three of them were too busy texting.

Looking at them all slamming away with their fingers, the first thought was perhaps they needed a sarcastic text message stating: “Hey guys! Great to see you again!”

An order for a cold beverage was placed with the nice waitress before the first person finally put his phone down. (Course, it was placed right in front of himself, too, so he could pounce on the next text to come his way.) Not until then, did the first eye-to-eye, verbal greeting, the type our parents rigorously instilled in us, take place.

While it was a fun night catching up with old friends and cheering the local team to victory, it was continuously interrupted as each of them, over and over again, snatched up the phone and pounded away on the keyboard.

Fifteen or so years ago, we had to use pay phones to call and check in with family and friends. Then technology allowed us to do so from a hand-held device. Now, it seems calling has become a thing of the past as it has become too simple and easy to type and send a short printed message.

Throw in all the social media outlets people are obsessed with utilizing as the main form of communication, and it has become somewhat of a rarity to see someone actually hold a phone up to his or her ear these days.

It’s a surprise anyone even wants to meet face-to-face anymore. With the love of texting and connecting via the many interactive Internet tools and websites, it’s a surprise anyone even leaves the house.

On the positive side, the technology advancements are making people type more and thus are probably helping them hone their writing skills. (Although for brevity reasons, especially on interactive communication platforms like Twitter, users are misspelling words on purpose and using symbols to replace proper language and grammar.) It also is a lot more quiet in public places as less people are shouting into their phones.

For better or worst, times are changing. More and more people are choosing to type a quick correspondence rather than dial up a number and actually spend time talking. Often, a voice message will be left on someone’s phone, only to be returned via text later in the day.

Maybe this passion for texting – or beter yet a lack of passion to talk – is also why it seems nobody listens to voice messages anymore. After taking the time to lay out clearly the reason for the call on someone’s voice message, a return call immediately comes back with: “Hey! I just missed your call. What’s up?”

Many times the call comes back as the message is still being left. Case in point – this morning. As a voice mail was being left with a friend, the phone buzzed indicating a call was coming in. It went immediately to voice mail. Turns out it was the same friend who didn’t answer his phone a minute earlier.

“Oh, hey! I just missed a call from you,” it stated. “What do you need? Call me back.”

Seriously? Despite the reason for the call stated on his voice message, he wants another call back? Ironically, he text about 10 minutes later asking the same question.

While mobile phone sales continue to skyrocket, it seems the phone aspect is the last amenity people are using on the devices. Texting, email, games, music, Internet are way more popular. Enough so, that it might be time for manufacturers – and society – to think about calling these devices by a different name. (Some models were at one time called PDA’s, right?)

Film makers, too, should take note as “phoning home” may soon be a foreign phrase to most youths. Times will always continue to change, but at this stage in life, directors, like Spielberg, might just want their future extraterrestrials to text home instead.

After all, despite the popular saying, it’s pretty much what E.T. did with his Speak and Spell anyway, isn’t it?

Mark Twain once said, “the more I know about people, the better I like my dog.”

The great American author most likely came up with that quote some time during his worldly adventures, but it could have come just sitting in a fold-up lawn chair on his driveway while people rummaged through his belongings.

To get a thorough transect of human nature, one doesn’t have to travel the world or enroll in a psychology class. In fact, there is no need to even leave the house – just host a garage sale.

The image of the pants flying high into the air is pretty hard to forget. It happened near the end of Saturday’s event and was just one of many bizarre behavioral occurrences.

“Two dollars? You kidding me?” was the lady’s response. “I can go get these new for that!”

Then she threw the pants high above her head and stormed down the driveway. If it wasn’t so disrespectful, it would have been comical. For one, the athletic wear in question cost $100 and the price tag was a mere 2% of the original value (not to mention negotiable since after all it’s a yard sale). Also, not sure what store she’s going to get those pants for less, but sure wish she’d share it with the rest of us before her abrupt departure.

About an hour earlier, an elderly lady expressed interest in our bird clock. Despite repeatedly stating it wasn’t the best looking thing, she demanded we put in new batteries and set the time accordingly. After remarking the chirping sounds were “annoying,” she thrust forward two $1 bills – less than half the listed price. No thanks for spending 15 minutes on getting it up and running or for throwing in five new batteries. Just a take it or leave it pittance.

Not wanting to deal with it anymore as there were others more worthy of attention, the money was accepted. As she walked out, she grabbed an item off the $1 table and announced loudly: “And you’re throwing this in!”

Then off she went. Or so we thought.

As a nice woman asked for a signature on a self-published book, she tramped back up. Oddly, it turned out the polite woman was her daughter-in-law.

“Hey, did you know the author of this book is here? It’s this gentleman next to you,” she said cordially to her mother-in-law.

“I don’t care! We’re leaving! Let’s go!” was the retort. The Bird Lady then headed off to her car for the second time.

The behavior of people as they inspected the merchandise offered was intriguing. Several people actually scooped up items into their arms and held on to them as they shopped, only to finally dump all the stuff on the last table and leave. Apparently, the pieces were liked enough to hoard for 10 or 15 minutes, but not to the point of inquiring about price or purchasing any of them.

The antics of one woman took the top award for most entertaining and vexing demeanor of the day (although it’s hard to beat out Bird Lady). After kicking and pounding on a nice piece of luggage – very reminiscent of that old Samsonite commercial with the gorilla – she declared she’d pay no more than $3 for it. Since she had successfully haggled $20 worth of goods down to just $5 earlier, the $15 piece of luggage was not going without a fight.

And a little fight there was. After firmly countering with $5 as the final price, the piece of luggage received one last durability test.

“Ah, forget it!” was her quick snort as she gave the little suitcase a swift goodbye kick.

Surprisingly, a few others also left in a huff, although not quite so dramatic. One gentleman simply dropped all the books in his hands and left murmuring angrily to himself when he thought $1 was too much for the four publications. Despite one of them being a nice hard copy of “Into Thin Air.”

While a flood of mongers is expected at a garage sale, after all it is unwanted, used stuff on display, the cantankerousness was quite eye-opening. Although the grouchy hawkers did cloud an otherwise sunny afternoon, there were a few on the flip-side that definitely warmed things up.

The story one elderly gentleman shared regarding the daily woes he faces thanks to his neighbor was very amusing. Apparently, every morning she walks out and feeds the crows. In his estimate, about 50 of the birds converge for breakfast at 9 am sharp every day. While not quite out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie, the large and very loud squawkers do create a disturbing scene for him.

Then there was the pleasant lady who came looking for books – “classics” as she put it. The imagery she laid out as she described our town and how it used to be long ago brought a smile to our faces. As did the true life story from the young man who purchased a futon for college, which he was about to attend for the first time. Something that only seemed like a fantasy to him and his parents before they shipped the “trouble-maker” off to a wilderness, boot camp school in Utah.

“It was intense,” he said. “It was one of those schools in which they roust you at 5 in the morning, throw you into a truck, drive you out into the wilderness and simply drop you off. They just leave and you have to defend and survive all by yourself.”

All rugged wilderness aside, at times the garage sale seemed a daunting task to survive in itself. The arrogance and petulance of some people made for a baffling day to the say least. Luckily, there were also some fascinating people and stories to combat the overwhelming negativity in human behavior.

In the end, it made one appreciate the finer things in life – such as close family and friends. Especially the four-legged ones.

BizarroGuy